Episode I: Balance of the Force

  “As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror”. This is how the release of “The Phantom Menace” felt to most Star Wars fans. There is too much wrong with Episode I to cover in this blog, and chances are you’ve seen the film so many times you know what is wrong with it. This blog is more about how people tried to fix “The Phantom Menace”. Though none of us has a time machine, there are a few brave souls who have tried to rewrite history. That’s right, I’m talking about fan editors.

            Many of you may have heard of “The Phantom Edit”, a film that removed half-an-hour of Jar Jar and Anakin from Episode I. The result makes for a quicker-paced film that is less childish. Yet there are other fan edits of Episode I out there and today I want to talk about one that has recently come to my attention. A true experience that all Star Wars fans should have. Something that very few people know about. It is called “Star Wars Episode I: Balance of the Force”

     “Balance of the Force” is one of a few fan edits created by someone named Magnoliafan (who various people think is Kevin Smith for a couple of different reasons). Magnoliafan offers viewers a completely new viewing experience for Star Wars fans and his work is nothing short of genius. He has not only eliminated some of the most annoying scenes from the film, he has completely reimagined the characters of the film and the plot in general.

 The first and most important thing to realize in “Balance of the Force” is that the Gungans and the Neimoidians no longer speak Basic (English).  This fact achieves at least three things. One: Neither species is an annoying stereotype of Asians or Blacks. Two: The new languages they speak sound kind of cool. Three: You can put whatever you want to in the subtitles.

New dialogue makes Episode I more interesting, less rigid

            It is interesting that Magnoliafan chooses not to cut Jar Jar’s role in this film (in fact he actually edits Jar Jar into a scene where he hadn’t been before). Instead Magnoliafan chooses to change Jar Jar’s personality. He is still a little clumsy, but now he is also kind of a dick. He swears. He calls people bastard. Jar Jar doesn’t give a shit anymore! He’s like honey badger.

Jar Jar is more adult and more tolerable

            Furthermore the film is no longer about a trade dispute. The Neimoidians are now trying to enslave the Naboo. The Gungans are angry at humans because the Naboo have stolen their Kyber Crystal and Boss Nass is actually a little scary. Sidious is also a little darker. His face is more hidden beneath his hood, which makes his identity more subtle. There have been slight alterations to his lines to make them a little more sadistic, darker. Just a few corny phrases removed.

Star Wars is bad ass again!

Sideous' face is more hidden. It is less obvious he is Palpatine.

            A few pointless scenes here and there have been deleted entirely (Like the second pair of monster fish in the core), but in their place Magnoliafan has inserted deleted scenes, such as the bongo falling over the waterfall and Anakin’s fight with Greedo. There are no midichlorians or virgin births in this edition but there is a nice scene where Watto is humming the Star Wars cantina music to himself in his shop.

Sebulba uses his flamethrower (This scene was not in Phantom Menace)

            Magnoliafan takes a lot of time carefully creating a vastly superior film, and no where is that more apparent than in the podrace scene.  All the annoying parts of the podrace are gone (Jabba, the announcers, silly alien noises) and in its place is a more exciting race. There is a lot of new footage here. Sebulba has more tricks up his sleeves and there are way more explosions. Anakin’s dialogue is trimmed down and he seems darker, more focused. Tusken Raiders are now firing at Jawas who are trying to salvage crashed pods. New music cues make the race seem more epic, something closer to the feel of the original trilogy.

And in the end isn't that what all of us wanted? A movie that had the same feel as the original trilogy? Fan edits bring us what Lucas failed to bring us: The Star Wars we used to know. 

Nass and the "Kyber Crystal"

            When “Balance of the Force” ends, you realize you didn’t hate the film. There is still boring dialogue and senate debates, but there is nothing that offends, no pointless childish humor. And the Gungans get back their Kyber Crystal.

            I recommend that you all immediately find a torrent and download this film. In fact, I am considering showing the film to my future children instead of Phantom Menace.  Magnoliafan, whoever he is, shows us that we don’t need a time machine to erase “The Phantom Menace” from history. We just need some editing skills and a whole lot of time.