The Road to Episode Infinity: Top Ten Star Wars Battles

Ranking anything is a trivial task, at best. Opinions can differ greatly on any topic, and yet when constructing such a list, one can't help but think that there must be a correct answer, or at least a common consensus that most people can agree on. In the following I try to balance my personal preferences with that common consensus. All that follows is opinion, of course, but for those of you who might prefer the prequel battles to the classic trilogy battles will not agree with my rankings. This is because your opinion is a terrible one. Enjoy!

Number 10: The Battle of Coruscant

Combatants: Republic vs. The Separatists
Casualties: Count Dooku & R4-P17
Plot threads: 1

I wanted to put “The Battle of Naboo” at the bottom of my list for many reasons, but then I remembered “The Battle of Coruscant". The battle starts out kind of cool, with an 82-second long-shot of lots of CGI spaceships fighting other CGI spaceships, but it’s all downhill from there. Whilst Obi-Wan and Anakin are trying to rescue Palpatine, comedic things happen (at least I think it’s supposed to be comedic). And then we see General Grevious for the first time and he coughs a lot. And then Anakin assassinates Dooku (probably because Lucas couldn’t figure out what to do with Dooku next). Finally the spaceship crashes into Coruscant, but the three characters who need to live, survive (Because they have to be alive for episodes IV – VI).

Number 9: The Battle of Naboo

Combatants: Trade Federation vs. Gungan Grand Army + Naboo Forces
Casualties: Qui-Gon Jinn + Darth Maul
Plot threads: 4

The Battle of Naboo has many problems. First of all, there’s just too many darn things going on. You’ve got the Gungans fighting the Battle Droids. You’ve got Padme trying to take back the palace. You’ve got 9-year-old Anakin leading a space battle. And you’ve got the duel of fates. Lucas himself remarked “I may have gone too far in a few places”, when seeing the final cut of his film. Most fans remember “The Duel of Fates” being really, really cool- but even this if flawed. Wooden characters with little dialogue are fighting for reasons that the audience are not clear on.

Number 8: The Battle of Kashyyyk

Combatants: Seperatists vs. Wookiees & Republic
Casualties: Yoda chopped the head off of a scout trooper named Gree.
Plot threads: 1

This battle is cool because it has wookiees, but sad because it is shown so briefly. In a normal Star Wars film, this battle could have been a main plot line, but “Revenge of the Sith” moves so quickly that we are hardly able to focus on anything for more than a few moments (until that really long lightsaber duel). "The Battle of Kashyyyk" was supposed to take place in the original trilogy, until Lucas decided to give us Ewoks instead. Still, it is nice to see the wookiee homeworld and wookiees fighting (albeit briefly). Also, I guess this is where Chewbecca and all the wookiees get captured and turned into slaves (which may feature heavily in that 2018 Han Solo film we get in a few years).

Number 7: Assault on Starkiller Base

Combatants: New Order vs. The Resistance

Casualties: Han Solo
Plot threads: 2

The Assault on Starkiller Base commits two major sins. Most people will cite the major sin is that it’s the same plot as “A New Hope”. There’s a super weapon, there’s a weakness, they have to fly through a trench. But I would argue that this is not the major sin. After all, "The Battle of Endor" has pretty much the same plot as well. I think that the major sin is that (unlike The Battle of Endor)- the Assault on Starkiller Base doesn’t really add anything new. In short, we’ve seen all this before. The best part of this battle isn’t really a battle at all- it’s when Kylo Ren murders Han Solo. The lightsaber stuff at the end is pretty good too.

Number 6: Battle on Takodona

Combatants: New Order vs. The Resistance

Casualties: Riot Trooper FN-2199 (May he rest in peace)
Plot threads: 1

This battle is brief, but is exciting and well executed. FN-2199 (the riot gear stormtooper who screams “traitor”) is a highlight for many Star Wars fans. He shows that some troopers are more formidable than others. In fact, The Force Awakens does an amazing job of giving personality to stormtroopers, including adding several female troopers to the New Order’s roster. The best part of this battle for me is John Williams’ “March of the Resistance” theme as the X-Wings skim over the waters of the planet, on their way to rescue our heroes. There’s also the destruction of Maz Kanata’s castle and the kidnapping of Rey, which means that even though the New Order retreats, the bad guys win, sort of.

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*UPDATE: November 2020*

Number 5.5: The Battle of Exegol

Combatants: The First Order vs. The Resis
tance
Casualties: Ben Solo, Darth Sidious, Nien Nunb
Plot threads: 2

The Battle of Exegol has some good moments. Resistance forces charging across a Star Destroyer on Orbak mounts is a fresh take on the trope of primitive combatants taking on a technological super power. Rey's confrontation with her grandfather is powerful and her commune with the disembodied voices of dead Jedi is even more powerful. And yet, Exegol does not cross into the territory of cinematic iconicity. There is something a little too lazy about Palpatine taking out the Resistance fleet with his own force lightning. Ben Solo's death crosses a line into hokeyness and the plot tries to wrap up a tad too quickly. Thinking back, why didn't we get a final conversation between Ben and Rey? Adam Driver has showed some amazing acting chops throughout this trilogy and now he just drops dead without a word? With a little more care and cleanup, perhaps this battle could have cracked the top three- but as it stands Exegol is middling at best.
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Number 5: The Battle of Geonosis

Combatants: Jedi Order & The Republic vs. The Separatists

Casualties: Jango Fett
Plot threads: 1

This Battle has it all, doesn’t it? Lightsabers. Battle Droids. Lightsabers. Clone Troopers. Lightsabers. Air support. Blue Lightsabers. Green Lightsabers. Red Lightsabers. Purple Lightsabers. Yoda with Lightsabers.

The Battle of Geonosis fulfills the secret desire of Star Wars fans when it shows hundreds of Jedi fighting with hundreds of lightsabers. Yet, in the end, we kind of realize it’s a gift that we only thought we wanted- Especially when Yoda fights with a lightsaber. It’s sort of cool and we thought we wanted it, but in the end we may have buyers regret.

The best part of this battle is actually the ground assault. There are a lot of cool tanks and gunships. The orange landscape and yellow sky makes it feel dusty and gritty- a strange sense of realism in an otherwise fantastical fight. The worse part of this battle is the C3-PO head-swapping ridiculousness, of course.

Number 4: The Battle of Scarif

Combatants: The Empire vs. The Rebellion

Casualties: Fucking Everybody
Plot threads: 2

"The Force Awakens" gets a lot of crap for not trying anything new and "Rogue One" gets a lot of praise for being fresh- but let me tell you a secret... The Battle of Scarif is exactly the same as the Battle of Endor but without Ewoks. Still, the Battle of Scarif is cool. Gareth Edwards sets Scarif in a tropical paradise. Edwards smartly chose an Earthly environment that we haven’t seen in a Star Wars film thus far. The beauty of tropical Scarif juxtaposes with the battle- sort of like the Vietnam War. Plus it gives Edwards an excuse to invent Shoretroopers. The downside of this battle is that there is too much exposition. Instead of explaining everything earlier in a war room with helpful charts, all the explanation is done on the battlefield. Bodhi Rook’s task seems especially complicated, until you realize it boils down to plugging a giant wire into a giant headphone jack.

Number 3: The Battle of Yavin

Combatants: The Empire vs. The Rebellion

Casualties: Biggs, Porkins and some other guys.
Plot threads: 1

The Battle of Yavin should be higher on this list. In fact, it should be Number 1 on this list. It feels genuine- like a real World War I dogfight. It was a technical marvel in the 70s, created on a shoestring budget. Darth Vader guns pilots down left and right- And there’s that moment where Luke switches off his targeting computer and everything kind of stops for a second when he trusts the force and sends his proton torpedoes into the heart of the super weapon. The Battle of Yavin is simple and sweet and deserves the top spot on this list! I am so angry and pissed at the author of this blog for putting it at number 3! That’s all I have to say about that.

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*UPDATE: November 2020*

Number 2.5: The Battle of Crait

Combatants: The First Order vs. The Resistance
Casualties: Luke Skywalker
Plot threads: 2

The Battle of Crait is where the sequel trilogy starts to rival the original films. There is something so satisfying about the visuals of those clunky ski-speeders painting red lines through salty flats. Great moments include The Falcon drawing off all of the TIE fighters and that "explosive" kiss between Rose and Finn. But it is the conflict between Kylo Ren and Luke Skywalker that really shines. Adam Driver and Mark Hamill get precious few scenes together in this film, but both actors are at the top of their game during their final confrontation. Ultimately it is the twist ending that makes Crait the greatest battle of the sequel trilogy and solidifies "The Last Jedi" as the best film of that trilogy.
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Number 2: The Battle of Endor

Combatants: The Empire vs. The Rebellion

Casualties: Emperor Palpatine & Darth Vader
Plot threads: 3

The ten-year-old inside of me still feels that "Return of the Jedi" is my favorite Star Wars film and it always was. My adult self knows that "Empire" is a superior film (you know, because of art and stuff), but "Jedi" is exciting isn’t it? Nothing in any Star Wars film is more exciting than "The Battle of Endor". There’s just so much going on. You’ve got Han, Chewie, and Leia on the planet surface with Ewoks taking out the Empire’s finest. You’ve got Lando, Nien Nunb, and Admiral Ackbar in space with some cool new ships taking down The Executor and Death Star II. You’ve got Luke locked in a battle with his father, refusing to fight, knowing that there is still good lying somewhere beneath the mask. And you know, Ewoks aren’t so bad. This Battle should definitely be Number 1 on the list (so says my ten-year-old self).

Number 1: The Battle of Hoth

Combatants: The Empire vs. The Rebellion

Casualties: Dak Ralter
Plot threads: 1

What!?! The Battle of Hoth is Number 1!?! Who writes this crap? Sure the Battle of Hoth introduces AT-ATs and AT-STs to Star Wars lore and the Snow Speeders smartly use harpoons and toe-cables to bring them down, but number 1? Really!?!

The Battle of Hoth gets my vote (and probably your vote) for top battle, but I’m not quite sure why. Is it because The Empire wins? Is it because it takes place at the beginning of the film and doesn’t have to try to hard to be climactic? Is it because they didn’t reuse the Death Star plot again? Is it because we have all taken part in the Battle of Hoth in countless video games- including, but not limited to, Empire Strikes Back NES, Super Empire Strikes Back SNES, Shadows of the Empire N64, and Lego Star Wars? Maybe, it’s because the Rebels have to use actual creativity in taking down the AT-ATs as opposed to some kind of weird Deus Ex Machina exhaust port plot…

How “The Battle of Hoth” found its way to the top of this list, dishonestly or not, we have to acknowledge that it’s a solid battle. They certainly didn’t try to do too much (flashback to “I may have gone too far in a few places”). I mean if Lucas would have created the Battle of Hoth during the prequel era, you can be certain it would feature Chewbecca riding a Tauntuan into battle and Luke Skywalker using “force jump” to soar to the top of the AT-ATs and cutting off their heads with his lightsaber. Maybe even Jar Jar accidentally knocking some “boomas” over. But I digress…

Future Entries

One can only guess what future battles we will see in Star Wars films as Disney continues its quest to release one Star Wars film every year until the end of time. There are some battles eluded to in the films that we could see in the future. For instance, there is an outside chance that we could see "The Battle of Jakku" on the big screen. However, this has been covered at length in recent books and video games. No, if I had to put my money on it, we won’t see "The Battle of Jakku" in a theatrical film any time soon. However there is one battle mentioned in Return of the Jedi that we could see fairly soon.

I am, of course, referring to "The Battle of Taanab", in which Lando Calrissian performs some kind of fancy maneuver (or so he claims). What are the odds that we could see "The Battle of Taanab" in that Han Solo standalone film coming out in December of 2018? I will answer this question with another question. Does Disney seem like the kind of studio that would build the entire plot of a film around a throw-away line of dialogue? “Yes”- That is the answer to the question that answers my previous question.

Whatever the future has in store for us in regards to theatrical Star Wars space battles- I hope that it is not more of the same. Although, by “not more of the same” all I really mean is “give me pretty much the same, just in a different environment”. You know, like maybe inside of a giant subterranean cave system or on a desolate cratered moon with no atmosphere. You know, the same… but different.