}); The Road to Episode Infinity: August 2020

Monday, August 10, 2020

Comic Review: "Star Wars Tales"


“Star Wars Tales” is the anthology comic that ran from 1999 – 2005. The series featured some of the most bat-shit crazy Star Wars stories ever. Within the pages of this comic series you will find Pulp Fiction parodies, Fight Club parodies, Breakfast Club parodies, an Indiana Jones / Han Solo crossover story, a lightsaber duel between Boba Fett and Darth Vader, a cooking competition, and a daytime court TV show in which Greedo’s mom wants justice for the death of her son. Oh wait, there’s also a story featuring Jar Jar’s father who is so ashamed of his son that he attempts to commit suicide. 

Star Wars Tales features 24 issues, 121 stories, and a total of 1,536 pages. The project featured many famous contributors including Garth Ennis, Craig Thompson, Steve Niles, and Sergio Aragonés.

 

Without further ado, I present to you, my top “Star Wars Tales” stories.

 




"Mara Jade: A Night on the Town"


Timothy Zahn has probably written more Star Wars books than anyone. Since 1991, Zahn has introduced readers to some of the most popular Expanded Universe characters of all time. Zahn is, still today, adding tomes to the legacy of his popular character Grand Admiral Thrawn. But if there is one Zahn character as popular as Thrawn, it has to be Mara Jade.

 

"Mara Jade: A Night on the Town" takes place between the events of “Return of the Jedi” and “Heir to the Empire”. Mara lands on the planet Kintoni and attempts to break into a Rebel prison where an Imperial Governor named Barkale is being interrogated by General Crix Maddine.

 

The 16-pages of this comic tells you everything you need to know about Mara’s character. Mara is smart, well trained, and carries a lightsaber. She is a complicated being with a complicated set of morals. She served Emperor Palpatine during the age of the Rebellion and the ghost of Palpatine continues to plague her long after his death. Mara is fiercely loyal to The Empire. She does not seek personal gain, only service to her master and his cause.


"Lady Luck"


Lando is often written as being romantic with the ladies, good at cards, and extremely lucky. But there is more to Lando than schmooze and gambling. Lando is also a smart and capable leader, a Baron Administrator no less.

 

“Lady Luck” gives readers an explanation as to how Lando happened to become the baron administrator of Cloud City and reminds us that it is Lando is more than just a "Lucky" gambler.


 


"Resurrection"


Resurrection is a fanboy dream fulfilled: a lightsaber duel between Darth Vader and Darth Maul. For many fans any official version of this matchup would be enough. I’m more skeptical of these fan wish-fulfilling storylines. This story doesn’t make this list simply because it pits the two villains against each other, I picked this story because it actually did justice to the premise. The story actually makes sense canonically and the duel is pretty darn cool. When Star Wars is good I’m not going to denigrate it- and this tale is a good one.

 

 

"Free Memory"


Free Memory features C-3PO and R2-D2 in a brief vignette. In some Sci-Fi worlds robots do not have feelings, but it is not true in Star Wars. 3-PO and R2 have very distinct personalities and they have been through a lot together.

 

The question of memory storage is one brought up in the first Star Wars film and has plagued 3-PO from the prequels through the sequels. R2 has managed to avoid memory wipes through his travels, but 3-PO is not as lucky. In the film “The Rise of Skywalker” 3-PO (as a character) learns why memories are important. That lesson is also captured in this short story that broke my heart of little bit.


 

 

"The Sith in the Shadow" and "Children of the Force"

Star Wars Tales #13 is the “Mace Windu Issue” with 6 stories centered on Samuel L. Jackson’s stoic Jedi. Each story is actually an improvement on the last, culminating in the final two tales: “The Sith in the Shadow” and “Children of the Force”. Both stories feature deep insight into the Jedi order.

 

The tales almost act as companion pieces, and when put together they reveal deep flaws in the Jedi customs-  namely the fact that the Jedi acquire newborn babies who are trained from birth. These babies are indoctrinated in the Jedi order and they are never allowed to even contact their birth parents. To make matters worse, some of these children ultimately fail to become Jedi. And when Padawans fail, who but themselves could the Jedi possibly blame?

 

Where “The Sith in the Shadow” is the better illustrated story, it is actually “Children of the Force” that cuts straight to the heart of the issue and finds fault in the Jedi way. These stories seem to preempt themes featured in “The Last Jedi” where Luke Skywalker rejects the order outright.

 

 

"The Princess Leia Diaries" and "The Other"


Jason Hall wrote nine Star Wars Tales, but the two focusing on Princess Leia Organa are his best.

 

“The Princess Leia Diaries” give us a glimpse of young Leia growing up on Alderaan. In many ways Leia is too adventurous, brash, and bold to be a royal. However, as she ages she grows into her life and the responsibilities of her station.

 

“The Other” tells a tale of a much older Leia Organa. She is now a mother of three, a force user, and a senator. In Star Wars lore Leia often has the choice between two destinies, one is the Jedi path and one is the path of politics. Frequently Luke is the one who follows the path of the Jedi and Leia is the one who attempts the Jedi life but eventually settles on politics. Though it has often been hinted that Leia would actually be an even stronger Jedi than her brother- if that was her path.

 

 

"Ghosts of Hoth"


Chewbacca is a much-loved Star Wars character who is often delegated to the background of the plot. His inability to speak Galactic Basic in some ways hinders him from taking center stage. “Ghosts of Hoth” however gives Chewie the lime light. In only 8 short pages Chewbacca discovers the spirits of humans butchered by a Wampa Ice creature. It is up to Chewie to help these souls move on to the next plain of existence.

 

“Ghosts of Hoth” is the second tale in Issue #17 which deals with Han and Chewie trying to bring peace to the undead, but it is probably the stronger one.

 

 

"Marooned"


“Marooned” does not feature any of the legacy characters of the Star Wars franchise (except for a few recognizable Ewoks). Instead “Marooned” tells us the tale of a random Rebel Trooper and an Imperial Storm Trooper who come across each other deep within the Forest Moon of Endor. The Battle of Endor is over, the Death Star has been destroyed, but neither soldier knows the outcome of the battle. The pair are very much at odds with each other but must rely on one another to survive in the forest. Ultimately these two soldiers come to realize that though they are on different sides of the war, they don’t necessarily have to be enemies. Oh… and there’s a Gorax!


"Nomad" 


After issue #20 of  “Star Wars Tales” the series received a new editor and a new direction. It was a soft-reboot of sorts. Jeremy Barlow wanted to fill the series with more classic Star Wars action and adventure. The cartoony comedy which made up many of the previous 20 issues was mostly gone and in its place were some gritty tales and a more mature artistic style. Unfortunately the re-boot was short lived. A few publishing delays and four issues later and Tales was over.

 

Included in the last four issues were some ongoing storylines. One fascinating story was “Walking The Path That’s Given” which featured Darth Vader recruiting a smuggler into the Empire. Really good stuff, but sadly unfinished. The “Nomad” storyline by Rob Williams fared a bit better. The story was spread across 4 issues and, fortunately, the tale came to fruition in the final issue of “Star Wars Tales”.

 

The four issues of “Nomad” featured some great art (a bit steampunk and a bit apocalyptic fantasy). The titular Nomad is a lightsaber wielder who is not a force user, but along the way he learns the values of being a selfless hero.

 

 

"Kessel Run"


During my journey through “Star Wars Tales” I found stories that were really good, stories that were only okay, and some that were kind of stink bombs. But there is one tale in this comic line that Dark Horse should be very embarrassed about. “Kessel Run” by Gilbert Austin is quite literally the worst piece of Star Wars media I have ever come across. “Kessel Run” makes the Holiday Special look like an Oscar worthy picture. “Kessel Run” makes the Jedi Prince series look like Shakespeare. I have consumed thousands upon thousands of Star Wars stories and I never expected to find something this terrible published under the Star Wars brand.

 

The dialogue is not even on the level of fan fiction, it is more on the level of a 6th grader in a basement scribbling into a trapper keeper. The art is even worse. It’s as if the same 6th grader was using Microsoft Paint combined with Microsoft Publisher to patch together screenshots from “A New Hope” with some pictures he took of his dad and uncles in his backyard. Part of me believes this is exactly how this so called comic was actually created. And I haven’t even got to the worst part. 

 

The entire premise of this story is that the Kessel Run is actually a Snipe Hunt orchestrated by Lando and his friends. The comic suggests that Kessel is not a planet (contradicting one of the first lines of dialogue in “A New Hope”) but a Kessel is a bird (literally flamingos with a green photo-filter). So Han and Chewie fly from planet to planet buying up these birds thinking there will be some payout, when in reality Lando and his friends are conning them out of their cash. The fact that this drags on for 18 pages makes me think some fans must have demanded their six bucks back. If I had saved my allowance for this issue back in 2003, I would have been severely disappointed that the bulk of it was spent belittling Han’s famous Kessel Run and generally destroying everything that makes Han Solo a great character in the first place. And as a final insult Chewie (Han’s ever-loyal buddy) actually turns on Han at the end to serve as the final punch line. 

 

Wait! Wait! Did I mention that the whole story is narrated by Squishmael the Sloogarian, a character so dimwitted and ill-conceived that he makes Jar Jar Binks look like Sean Connery? I’m not sure how Gilbert Austin was able to get Dark Horse to publish his tragic mess but I hope they didn’t actually pay him to produce this thing.


 


 "Fortune, Fate, and the Natural History of the Sarlacc" 


At the heart “Star Wars Tales” is an experiment in which various comic creators got to play around in the Star Wars Universe. Sometimes the results are a mess and other times something amazing is made. "Fortune, Fate, and the Natural History of the Sarlacc" is a good example of this phenomenon.

 

Kellie Strom’s art is simply gorgeous and illustrates the planet Tatooine in beautiful tapestries which evoke the concept art of Ralph McQuarrie. The sparse dialogue bubbles allows the art tell the majority of the story. And if that wasn’t enough, the whole story is set in motion when a Lepi bestows a curse upon Boba Fett (if you don’t know what a Lepi is look it up).


Dark Horse Comics (Link)

Dawn of the Jedi  Dawn of the Jedi

Tales of the Jedi Tales of the Jedi

Knights of the Old Republic Knights of the Old Republic

Star Wars: Republic Star Wars: Republic
Dark Times Dark Times
Empire & Rebellion Star Wars: Empire & Star Wars: Rebellion
Brian Wood's Star Wars Brian Wood's Star Wars
Dark Empire Dark Empire
Crimson Empire Crimson Empire
Invasion Invasion
Legacy Vol. 1 Star Wars: Legacy
Vector Star Wars: Vector
Legacy Vol. 2 Legacy Volume 2
Infinities Infinities
The Star Wars The Star Wars

Star Wars Tales Star Wars Tales

Marvel Comics

Original Marvel Comics Original Marvel Comics
Star Wars #108 Star Wars #108
Alan Moore's Star Wars Comics Alan Moore's Star Wars Comics

Han Solos Vs. Space Crocodile Han Solo vs. Crocodile in Space

Marvel's New Star Wars Line Catching Up With Comics

Age of Republic Age of Republic
Age of Rebellion Age of Rebellion
Age of Resistance Age of Resistance

Star Wars #1... Again Star Wars #1... Again
Ewoks in Comics Ewoks in Comis
Who is Doctor Aphra Who Is Doctor Aphra

The Last Jedi Expanded Universe The Last Jedi Expanded Universe
Who is Jaxxon Who Is Jaxxon

IDW Comics
Tales from Vader's Castle Tales from Vader's Castle

Return to Vader's Caslte Return to Vader's Castle