Ewoks Invade!

Ewoks: Love ‘em or hate ‘em… never mind, hate em. Why hate the cute and cuddly creatures from Endor’s forest moon? Simple. Ewoks should have been Wookiees. By all rights the final battle in Return of the Jedi should have been the Battle of Kashyyyk. We could have seen Wookiees tearing imperial troops apart… limb by limb. Instead what we got was fracking Ewoks. 

Ewoks: A Caravan of Courage

Ewoks were actually my first introduction the Star Wars galaxy. I guess I was probably five or six when I first saw the film “Caravan of Courage” which came out in 1984. I have seen the film many times since and I really love it! It’s a kids movie- to be sure- but it is a real study into the culture of the furry little creatures. The film is a grand journey, like the Hobbit. It has some sad Ewok deaths and is quite thrilling at times.

Ewoks: Battle for Endor

A sequel to the film came out in 1984 called “The Battle for Endor”, but it ceased to impress me, even as a small child. This time Endor was under attack by some alien-beasts and some sort of witch (I’d say Force-User, but she could turn into a raven, so….) Also there was a little annoying creature that could run really fast (like the Jedi in Phantom Menace). The movie isn't great, but ultimately the witch would provide the basis for the Witches of Dathomir, who many of you know from the EU. 

The two movies aren’t rated very high by audiences, but if you have young children they are worth the watch. Warwick Davis reprised his role of Wicked W. Warwick. Also, Lucas came up with the story for both films so I guess for all you Canon-Nazis, these are just as important as any Star Wars film. (Rolling Eyes).

Ewoks Cartoon

        In only two years since “Return of the Jedi”,  Star Wars fans (the ones who cared, anyway) had been subjected to two Ewok films. Yet the fury tirade was far from over. Later in 1985 a cartoon series called “Star Wars: Ewoks” premiered on ABC and ran for about two years. I can remember watching re-runs very early in the mornings before elementary school. It was far worse than the preceding movies and the Ewoks spoke in English. This actually makes them more annoying than when they are Yub-Nub-ing.  “Quite Bad” would be a good phrase to in describing the series.


Yet things got worse still.

Ewoks on Ice

In late 1986 the Ice Capades capitalized on the TV series by creating a segment called “The Ewoks and the Magic Sunberries”. That’s right folks, “Ewoks on Ice”.  Does this all still fit in with your “Canon”?

Here is a poem that was printed on the program of the show:

On the mystic moon of Endor,

Where enchanted forests grow,

There dwells a furry fellowship,

The Ewoks, don't you know!

The Ewoks live in giant trees,

They're busy all the day,

But around the bonfire every night,

They sing and dance and play!

The story teller is Logray,

An Ewok old and wise,

He now begins a classic tale

Of Life Beyond our skies.

You'll need a course in "Ewokese",

To help you understand

The glories and the triumphs

Of this hardy, happy clan!

Sit back, relax, enjoy yourself,

Bravo! You're on your way!

Presto! Chango! "Be-che-wa-wa",

You're an Ewok for the day!

*Just saying: Wookiees could have been so much cooler.

Top 5 Lightsaber Duels

Top 5 Star Wars Duels

#5: Vader Vs. Kenobi (Death Star I)

“You can’t win Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” ~Obi-Wan Kenobi

I have always thought that the best lightsaber duels were not just a duel of swords, but also a duel of words. As words go- this duel is deadly. Obi-Wan’s character is driven by the fact that he failed Anakin. He cannot even bring himself to speak his apprentices name during this encounter. The physical blows are minimal, but that’s only because of the history between these characters. Anakin must be regretting his actions on Mustafar at this point, but still a little pissed about it.

            Obi-Wan sacrifices himself because he has accepted the fact that Vader is lost to him. He knows that his battle is over and that his purpose will live on- through Luke. Obi-Wan has total faith in the Son of Skywalker- even where Yoda does not.

#4: Maul vs. Kenobi & Qui-Gon (Naboo)

“We’ll handle this” ~Qui Gon

 

            Many fans consider this scene the best part of Phantom Menace. Probably because it was the only scene where no one says anything. Let’s face it, the prequels were about Eye-Candy and anytime Lucas’ horrible dialogue distracted us from the Eye-Candy- well that’s when fans felt embarrassed that they had dressed up and waited in line for hours.

            Maul is played by Ray Parks who is a professional stunt man and had some very-cool moments. The major problem with this duel is that it didn’t really drive the plot forward. The result forces Obi-Wan to adopt Anakin as his apprentice, but I call BS! It should have been Obi-Wan’s idea to adopt Anakin in the first place (Qui-Gon’s character was never added until the final draft of the script). I don’t like the idea that Obi-Wan was guilted into adopting Anakin. It makes Anakin’s fall so much less tragic.

#3 Luke vs. Vader (Death Star II)

“I will not fight you father,” ~Luke

            This is my personal favorite duel. The dialogue from all three characters is timeless and the music is epic. The stakes are probably the highest of the entire saga. And we get some closure at the end.

            It doesn’t take much for the audience to grasp the conflict in Vader. It’s subtle, but you can hear it in his pauses- the places where he just breaths. Luke’s calm words are quick to drive him to anger.

            Like the other duels of the Original Star Wars Trilogy – the lightsabers don’t win the battle. The battle is about more than Eye-Candy. It’s about internal conflicts. In this case Vader sacrifices himself for Luke (just as Obi-Wan did in the original film).

#2 Obi-Wan vs. Anakin (Mustafar)
“It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground.” ~Obi-Wan Kenobi

            You voted for it, here it is. The dialogue is littered with clichés and Obi-Wan actually mentions democracy at one point but, the stakes are high and the conclusion is satisfying. Not to mention more Eye-Candy.

We waited about 30 years for this battle and it wasn’t a total disappointment. Anakin turns out to be an evil little spoiled bitch, which doesn’t really conflict with how Vader acts in the original three films. I guess Lucas might have been on to something when casting Hayden after all. Though how Padme ever fell for this kid, I will never know.

#1 Luke Vs. Vader (Bespin)

“No… I am your Father,” ~Vader

            This will always be the most memorable of the lightsaber battles. It’s the perfect end to "Empire", which is ultimately a tragic movie. The rebels lose the battle of Hoth, Han is frozen in carbonite, and Luke loses his hand. Also, the most evil man in the galaxy is his daddy.

            This duel has some great action scenes combined with great dialogue. It really lays precedence for every single lightsaber duel that will follow- in film, novel, or comic. It all started with this one. And the ending shocked audiences enough that even if you have never seen a Star Wars movie, you know the famous -albeit misquoted- line “Luke… I am your Father”

What didn’t make the list:

Yoda’s duels didn’t make the list because he should have ripped his enemies into shreds. Imagine the satisfaction of Yoda beheading Dooku.

Other duels that were not central to the plot did not make the list. What the hell was the point of Grevious anyway?

Top 10 Lists

Top 10 Tie Fighters

https://roadto7.blogspot.com/2018/01/top-ten-tie-fighters.html

Top 10 Lightsabers

http://roadto7.blogspot.com/2017/02/top-ten-lightsabers.html

Top 10 Bounty Hunters

http://roadto7.blogspot.com/2013/03/top-ten-bounty-hunters.html

Top 10 Troopers

http://roadto7.blogspot.com/2017/02/top-ten-troopers.html

Top 10 Star Wars Ships

https://roadto7.blogspot.com/2020/07/top-10-star-wars-ships.html

Top 10 Star Wars Battles

http://roadto7.blogspot.com/2017/01/top-ten-star-wars-battles.html

Top 10 Planets

http://roadto7.blogspot.com/2013/01/top-ten-planets.html

Top 10 Jedi Council Members

http://roadto7.blogspot.com/2013/04/best-jedi-council-members.html

Top 12 Astromechs

https://roadto7.blogspot.com/2019/09/astromechs-ranked.html

Top 15 Ewoks

https://roadto7.blogspot.com/2019/08/ewok-month-part-2-top-15-ewoks.html

Top 5 Lightsaber Duels

http://roadto7.blogspot.com/2013/01/top-5-lightsaber-duels.html

TV shows ranked

https://roadto7.blogspot.com/2018/05/tv-shows-ranked.html

Filming Return of the Jedi

Blue Harvest: Filming Return of the Jedi

If you are married you know that weddings are expensive. One reason they are so expensive is that the word wedding comes with a price tag. If you are buying a wedding cake, it is going to cost more than a normal cake. If you are hiring a wedding photographer, expect to pay wedding prices.

Apparently the same thing happens with movies. Once someone knows you are making a Star Wars film everything, including the nuts and bolts that hold the set together,  is going to cost more. This is why Lucas picked a codename for Return of the Jedi. A film called “Blue Harvest” would be able to get cheaper parts and therefore Lucas could afford to film his movie. The film even had a fake tagline “Horror Beyond Imagination”.            

Six Puppeteers controlled Jabba

Filming started with Jabba’s palace where Lucas was adamant that a man-in-a-suit portray the rancor (like Godzilla). However after several attempts it wasn’t working, so they decided to use a puppet instead.

Jabba was also an issue. In the original Star Wars movie Jabba was filmed as a human-being, but the material was cut from the final film. Lucas wanted to make Jabba more alien for Jedi. Concept sketches included Jabba as a large ape and a snail-like creature. The final product was a mix between the two and it took six puppeteers to bring the character to life.

Teddy Bears? Really?

Next the production team headed to the California forests to film the Endor scenes. The original script called for the Empire to be in a battle with the Wookiees on their home planets, however Lucas felt Ewoks were more kid-friendly. The actors felt awkward interacting with the short teddy-bears and many fans still feel that the cuddly species would have been no match for stormtroopers. The language for the Ewoks was based on Tibetan and Kalmyk Oirat, (the native speech of the Kalmyk people who are native to Mongolia & Russia.)

Original Poster with "Revenge"

The last decision to make was the title of the film. Lucas had originally picked “Return of the Jedi” but director, Lawrence Kasdan, thought it was a weak title. Early posters & previews carried the title “Revenge of the Jedi” but Lucas decided to change it back to “Return” at the last moment. Luke’s lightsaber was also shown as being blue in these previews and posters, but it was changed to green late in production.

Fans today site “Jedi” as the weakest film of the original trilogy, most cite the Ewoks as being unnecessary and created exclusively for children.

Though let’s not forget that Jedi has the most action of the three. The Sarlacc scene is tense and ultimately awesome. The speeder bike chase is pure gold and the lightsaber battle may be the strongest of the entire saga.

In the past 2 months I have researched and reported on the first decade of Star Wars history. Now I must take a leave of absence from my blogs to have my own adventures. But stay tuned for more blogs in mid-January. Until then, May the Force be with you!